Life Update! (2/23/19)

I'm not doing too great right now.

Life's gotten harder lately.

But it's all mental .

I think it helps to show your vulnerability.

So. Here is how I'm feeling recently.

1. I won't lie. I miss you. I worry about your well-being and your health a lot. We were so close for so long and what we went through was the hardest thing I've ever done. I wonder if you regret talking about me like that. I wonder if you regret treating me the way you did. The lies you told me broke me. I trusted you with every ounce of my being. I told you things that no one has EVER been told before. Why would you make fun of my painful past?
2. Oh honey. THE STRESS OF A NEW JOB. I have to pay off my cute lil  Mustang somehow. I need to work more or I'll have to get a second job. 
3. Okay, driving in this crazy humid and crazy stormy weather has my anxiety shooting through the roof and up to the stars. Do you know how many times I've hydroplaned this week? About 5 or 6 times. I get really anxious driving in normal weather anyway, but when the rain is coming down so fast that you have to pull over to the side of the road and pray that you make it to your destination? I don't think my crazy little heart can handle it.

BUT

1. I'm so much better without you. I've been happier with old and new friends and my boy because you held me back from them. You made me believe that none of them cared as much as you did. We'd sit and plan our wedding(s) and it's so unreal to me still that you WON'T be a part of it, but I'm glad because he will be and so will everyone else you hid me from.
2. I've made some new relationships with coworkers. I'm genuinely happy where I am and I FINALLY get to take care of myself a little more instead of depending on everyone else. It's nice.
3. I'm trying to think of something positive to say about all of this rain and tornado weather, but I can't think of one. It did snow in LA for the first time in over 50 years though. Global warming is real, folks. And so is global cooling. It happens in a pattern every few 100 years. It's just the earth's cycle. But I do agree that we need to take better care of good ol' Mother Earth for as long as we're here. Anyway, um. Winter showers bring Spring flowers? I GIVE UP.

As you can probably digest, I've trying to see the good in all things now. 

It kind of makes life a little more tolerable and happier for me. 

Looking on the bright side has really opened my mind to a whole new world of peace and joy. 

I'm going to continue this positive path and hopefully, I'll feel even better.

❤